MISS INVISIBLE

*Spoiler Alert - Bridgerton S2*

*Disclaimer for anyone side-eyeing the programme inspo: I'm sharing what was highlighted to me unless God instructs me otherwise. So, enjoy reading! - or not. Either way, it's all love 😉

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“Dearest gentle reader, did you miss me?” (Inside joke. LOL)

Well, clearly I’m no Lady Whistledown with all that "come hither" language, but what I am is a woman with a pen, some life experience and an insightful mind, and there was a particular statement made by the intriguing Lady Whistledown herself that caught my attention.

In a nutshell, Lady Whistledown is a mysterious, high society gossip columnist whose real identity (Penelope Featherington) is unknown to her readers. In her personal life, she lives very much like a rejected wallflower, unnoticed by most of her peers, and living on the sidelines of life which fuels her pursuit to hide behind the guise of a gossip columnist - but doing so anonymously. On conversing with her unsuspecting best friend one day, Penelope made an interesting statement:

“When you’re invisible, you can have all of the amusement you want without any of the expectations popularity brings. It frees you.”

I loved so many light-hearted and intricate parts of the episode, but there is a lesson to be found in her character's statement. She may have said it lightheartedly, but the truth is - out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks (Luke 6:45)

Penelope Featherington’s character isn’t seen as attractive, having prospects, or “marriage worthy” so to speak, nor is she revered by her own family. Annoyingly, she is always encouraged to dress in bright colours as if her natural beauty or own personal style isn’t good enough for her to stand out on her own. She has no suitors lined up to marry her, and the man she is in love with doesn’t see her - not in the way that she desires to be seen.

It’s totally understandable why she feels invisible. But the sad thing is her internalising it to the degree of her identifying as invisible and living that way as a result - and that’s what grabbed my attention.

Personally, I don't believe for one second that she gains immeasurable pleasure from remaining anonymous (not that there isn't any pleasure to be gained). What I do believe is - she makes the most of it and takes what she believes she can get. I believe she fears people finding out who the real person is behind the pen because she believes they will reject her as they already do. In this way, she relishes and thrives off the delight she sees in her reader's eyes on every publish day, along with the indirect attention she gets from being “missed” in the interim - all while hiding in the shadows.

I had to ask myself: How is any of this "love and acceptance" real if they don’t accept her being her truest and fullest self? More importantly, does it even matter if she doesn't accept herself when all is said and done? I don’t think so, but this internal struggle is a real one that many women (and men) face.

The end of Penelope’s statement is profound:

“… it frees you.”

Really? Where is the freedom?

Sometimes we allow our experiences to dictate our identity and we may not even realise it. Let’s face it. If you’re constantly told by people and by life “You’re not good enough”, at some point the belief that you are defective is going to start to seep in, and before you know it, you're rejecting yourself. For Penelope, “freedom” came from hiding and never openly sharing her gift. Freedom came from making herself small. Freedom came from lying to those closest to her. Freedom came from allowing the experience of invisibility to become who she was.

Some may simply shrug and say in response, “Well, life gave her lemons so she made lemonade." Okay, but what good is the lemonade if the lemons are rotten? The lemonade is bound to make her sick. And besides - the "lemons" weren’t hers to begin with. They were lemons given to her by other people. Lemons given to her from life. Every “What on earth do you look like?” Every “No one wants you”. Every gaze of acceptance that never came her way. Every rolling eye of contempt that did. Every desired affection and affirmation withheld from her. Those were her lemons.

Ladies... gentlemen… whoever is reading, let’s try to be who God created us to be. Fully. Yes, it’s no small thing to be perpetually rejected and to live with the gnawing dull ache in your heart from counting yourself out of dreams that others seem to effortlessly walk into, but I am fully persuaded that the facts of our lives are facts - they are not the author of our worth. What we go through, what people see or don’t see, what people accept or don’t accept, or whatever heartache comes from those experiences never sets the price tag of our value. Period.

Only the One who made us gets to state who we are. Not the unhealed parent, the ex-partner, the spouse, whoever left, whoever stayed, the spiteful siblings, the divorce, the debt, the mistake, the miserable mean spirited manager at work who is never going to promote you, the “frenemy” disguised as your supporter, or the school teacher that never believed you would ever amount to much.

It really doesn't matter who or what it is, because the response should ultimately always be the same. Jesus asked: “Who do men say that I am?” and there were many incorrect responses. Did He have feelings and thoughts about that? I believe He did because He knew exactly what it was like to be rejected and misunderstood. But regardless of the peoples' ignorance, He knew who He was and He still does.

So, let our precious Penelope Featherington be a lesson to us all. Live your life. Shine your light. No matter how small. Because (in my best Lady Whistledown accent) I'll say this:

"Invisibility is not freedom. On the contrary, my dearest gentle reader - it’s bondage."

Now go and pop your collar, put a spring in your step, show up for yourself and be GREAT! 😜